Consider what you really want
Wanting to become a mentor is a noble goal, but it needs clarifying. Think carefully about what you really want so you can find the right mentoring relationship. The clearer your goals are, the greater your chances of having a good mentoring experience.
Do you want to pass on your industry skills and experience? Are you interested in giving back to your community and helping a young person going through a difficult time? Deciding the type of mentoring you want to do can lead you toward the right mentee.
Also, consider the time you have available. If you have a busy workload, you must be realistic about this. Your mentee will count on you to be there when they need you, although the needs of different mentees will vary. For example, a child is likely to require more mentoring time than a young professional. Research also shows that young people can have worse outcomes when mentors cease their relationships early or miss scheduled meetings. You should be honest about your availability when organizing your mentoring position, so no one is disappointed.
Build a wide network
The best mentors are those that have wide networks for support and knowledge. Ideally, you should have your own mentor. It’s a myth that only young people need mentors because we always have something to learn. Some say there is no better way to learn how to become a mentor than to observe your own mentor at work. When we have a good relationship with a mentor, we pick up on the qualities and behaviors that could make us great mentors for someone else.
A mentor can be a great source of inspiration and knowledge, but this key figure shouldn’t be your only personal resource. Focus on building a wide network of professional and personal contacts you can count on. If you don’t already have a strong network, look for professional opportunities to strengthen your support system. For example, you might start working at a collaborative workspace like a WeWork office. These offices regular host networking events that can help you expand your professional circle. Look to the trusted connections you’ve made for support and advice, much like your mentee will look to you.
Practice active listening skills
Listening is an important skill for mentors, as their mentees should drive their conversations. A good mentor encourages independent thought and supports his or her mentee, rather than spoon-feeding information. The best mentors ask questions that can help their mentees discover new things because they know more learning occurs when people actively participate in the process.
Active listening is a communication technique which makes sure you hear not just the words a person says to you, but also the complete message the speaker wants to convey. Studies show that most of us remember between 25 and 50 percent of what we hear. Being a mentor requires a greater degree of engagement than that! Active listening can help improve those dismal statistics.
When active listening, pay careful attention to what someone else says to you. Try not to get distracted by other things happening around you or what you might say in response. Once the speaker stops speaking, repeat back what you understood from their words. The speaker will affirm you’ve captured the right message or clarify what he or she meant. This deepens your understanding.
You can practice active listening any time you’re having a conversation. Listening actively makes you a better communicator, which in turn will make you a better mentor.
Be nonjudgmental and compassionate
Being a mentor can see you working closely with someone of a different generation. This can be exciting and eye-opening, but also challenging at times. The best mentors do not let these challenges get the better of them, though. While they may not always see eye to eye with their mentees, good mentors know not to judge. Instead, they try to put themselves in their mentee’s shoes and provide the best objective advice they can, without letting their own prejudices get in the way. Constructive criticism is fine and sometimes welcome, but it should never be delivered with anger or frustration.
Be a role model
Mentors are role models to their mentees. You don’t need a mentee to become the kind of person others will look up to, though. Set a high bar for yourself and exhibit the kind of behavior you’d hope your mentees would. This will establish you as a pillar of your community, the type of person that would be approved for any mentoring position.
It will also get you into the right habits before you have a mentee. Modeling good behavior is far more powerful than simply telling someone else the right thing to do. Many professional mentoring organizations will not even accept mentors that are not good role models into their programs.
Finding a mentor
Consider who needs a mentor in your immediate circle
Chances are you already know someone who could benefit from mentoring. Perhaps you work with entry-level employees who aspire to work in your position. You might also have friends whose children are studying courses relevant to your field. Reach out to these people and see whether they’d like your mentoring.
Some of the best mentoring relationships occur organically through existing connections. If you know the right people, this may work better for you than using more formal channels.
Apply for a mentoring position through an established program
There are numerous community and industry programs designed to match aspiring mentors with willing mentees. Search online for programs in your area. National organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, The National Mentoring Partnership, and Mentoring USA are good places to start.
Your company may have a formal mentoring program you could apply for. Some universities and schools also encourage community mentors to form bonds with their students. Reach out to these institutions if you’re interested in mentoring young people.
Pass the screening process
Some formal mentoring programs have screening procedures to ensure their mentors are in good standing with their communities. After you submit an application, a mentoring organization may conduct a background and criminal check to ensure you are of good character. You may also need to provide character references that can vouch for your good standing. Only after passing the screening can you progress to the next stage of the application process.
Complete any necessary training
Some formal mentoring programs, including Be a Mentor Inc. and The Mentoring Center of Central Ohio, have compulsory training courses designed to teach applicants how to be a mentor. These programs feature courses in relationship-building topics like creating trust, handling emotions and conflict, and building confidence. The length of the training will depend on the mentoring organization you’re associated with. Through these courses, program organizers hope their applicants will become more successful mentors.
Get online
In the digital age, more people are finding mentors via online channels. Industry forums, social networking websites, and blogs are all great places for starting conversations with people who may need mentoring.
While the digital world can help bring mentors and mentees together, the best mentoring relationships occur in the physical world. Use your online connection as a springboard for face-to-face conversations. You can use video conferencing, emailing, and instant messaging as ways to stay in touch when you’re short on time, but these forms of electronic communication are no substitute for real-life interactions.
Let the mentoring relationship grow naturally
It can be easy to get bogged down in the formalities of a mentoring relationship. Clear guidelines, like how often you will meet and for how long, ensure both parties know what to expect. However, rules are made to be broken. If you stick to the guidelines too rigidly, the mentoring relationship can start feeling overly clinical and impersonal.
The best mentoring relationships grow naturally and respond to the changing needs of both parties. For example, if a conversation is flowing well, a mentoring session can and should run overtime. If the mentee is facing a significant professional or personal crisis, an extra mentoring session is likely to be beneficial. Set clear expectations with your mentee, but remain flexible and know when it’s best to change the rules.
Mentors play a vital role in educating and supporting people within their community. Follow these steps, and you could pass on your wisdom to other people in your industry or region.