{"id":8283,"date":"2014-07-29T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-07-29T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/creator\/?p=8283"},"modified":"2020-03-30T23:20:52","modified_gmt":"2020-03-31T03:20:52","slug":"reduce-stress-changing-way-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/reduce-stress-changing-way-talk","title":{"rendered":"Reduce stress by changing up the way you talk"},"content":{"rendered":"

The power of words is never more evident to me than when I\u2019m working with a client or team and the language turns negative:\u00a0The boss is difficult<\/a>. The workloads are unmanageable. The policies are dumb.<\/p>\n

Immediately, I see the negative effect that kind of language has on the situation. You see, when you say the boss is difficult or the work is stressful, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.\u00a0Organizational expert Robert Kreitner explains it like this<\/a>: \u201cWe strive to validate our perceptions of reality, no matter how faulty they may be.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, if you think the boss is a nightmare, you\u2019ll look for ways to validate that he is, in fact, a nightmare.\u00a0You say you feel stressed<\/a>; you\u2019ll find more ways to feel stressed.<\/p>\n

In the book\u00a0Words Can Change Your Brain<\/em><\/a>, authors Newberg and Waldman suggest, \u201cA single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.\u201d That means, the more you engage in negative thinking and speech, the more your brain generates those kinds of thoughts. It\u2019s a downward spiral that will not only\u00a0affect your mood and outlook<\/a>, but will create more stress for you as well. And who needs that?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s look at a couple of common refrains I hear far too often. Once you notice these phrases in your daily speech, you can take action to reframe them to take some stress out of your day. Imagine that\u2014reducing stress just by changing up the way you talk.<\/p>\n

1. \u201cI\u2019m Swamped\u201d<\/h3>\n

This used to be a favorite of mine. Invite me to lunch? Can\u2019t, I\u2019m swamped. Take Friday off? No way, I\u2019m swamped.<\/p>\n

But now, I stay away from this one. If I keep saying I\u2019m swamped, then I feel, well, swamped. I\u2019m simply reinforcing the feeling of being overwhelmed, whether I truly am or not.<\/p>\n

Instead, stay realistic about your workload\u2014even if it\u2019s a bit overwhelming<\/a>. Try phrases like, \u201cI\u2019ve got a lot to do right now, but I know I\u2019ll complete it all on time,\u201d \u201cThis is a huge project, but if I break it into smaller pieces it\u2019ll be less overwhelming,\u201d or, \u201cThere\u2019s a lot on my plate, and I need time away to recharge. Taking Friday off will be good for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. \u201cI\u2019m So Busy\u201d<\/h3>\n

I know very few people who feel that they aren\u2019t super busy right now. It\u2019s almost become a badge of honor to proclaim to our colleagues how consumed we are by our important activities.<\/p>\n

Surprisingly, it could be your behavior, more than your workload, that\u2019s giving you \u201cbusy syndrome.\u201d Brigid Schulte, author of\u00a0Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time<\/em><\/a>, says our obsession with multitasking is one of the culprits.<\/p>\n

When we multitask, we don\u2019t actually do things simultaneously; we switch back and forth between tasks. So, working on an email, while on a phone call, then responding to instant messages that pop up\u00a0makes you feel far busier<\/a>\u00a0than you would be if you managed only one task at a time and gave it your full attention.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re inclined to say, \u201cI\u2019m so busy,\u201d stop and assess what you\u2019re really doing. Are you busy trying to do three things at one time and projecting that on your entire job (or life)? Instead, eliminate the phrase entirely. Start saying to yourself, \u201cI\u2019m not that busy, I\u2019m focused on the one thing I\u2019m doing now\u201d\u2014and then do it.<\/p>\n

3. \u201cI Don\u2019t Have Time for That\u201d<\/h3>\n

The trap of blaming a lack of time for not being able to do something is a common one. In the week ahead, notice how many times you find yourself saying, \u201cI don\u2019t have time to deal with [insert dreaded task here].\u201d<\/p>\n

Whether your inbox is overflowing<\/a>\u00a0or your home office is completely disheveled because you \u201cdon\u2019t have time\u201d to organize, stop and think about it. Is it really because you don\u2019t have time?<\/p>\n

The reality is we all have the same number of hours in a day. So when you say, \u201cI don\u2019t have time,\u201d you\u2019re really saying that you\u2019ve chosen not to give that activity your time and attention.<\/p>\n

Over the next few weeks, change it up. Instead of saying you don\u2019t have time, say, \u201cThat\u2019s not a priority for me right now.\u201d Or, \u201cI know that needs to get done, but right now these other three things are more important.\u201d\u00a0Clearly delineating your priorities<\/a>\u00a0puts you in control of your time and to-do list, instead of the other way around.<\/p>\n

The fact is, the way you talk about yourself and your workplace has a huge influence on your stress level\u2014and ultimately, your satisfaction. Watch for these three sayings this week, and see how you can change it up, reduce your stress, and relieve some of the pressure.<\/p>\n

This story originally appeared in \tThe Muse.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The power of words is never more evident to me than when I\u2019m working with a client or team and the language turns negative:\u00a0The boss is difficult. The workloads are unmanageable. The policies are dumb. Immediately, I see the negative effect that kind of language has on the situation. You see, when you say the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1239,"featured_media":8286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nReduce stress by changing up the way you talk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The power of words is never more evident to me than when I\u2019m working with a client or team and the language turns negative:\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/reduce-stress-changing-way-talk\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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