{"id":62807,"date":"2019-09-03T07:52:24","date_gmt":"2019-09-03T11:52:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=62807"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:53:09","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:53:09","slug":"hope-youre-well-and-all-the-best-what-email-niceties-really-mean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/hope-youre-well-and-all-the-best-what-email-niceties-really-mean","title":{"rendered":"‘Hope you\u2019re well’ and ‘all the best’\u2014what email niceties really mean"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Since the dawn of business email, the signoff has been the most pervasive yet benign of practices. But when Julia Burnham, vice president of academic and university affairs at the Alma Mater Society of UBC Vancouver<\/a>, tweeted a chart classifying email signoffs into categories of good and evil, the internet erupted in conversation. Who knew that email language could unleash such controversy? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/twitter.com\/juliarburnham\/status\/1159901209378951168?\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Many of us are quite sensitive to the words we receive in email form, it turns out. Email is different from most forms of social media and realms of online communication because it\u2019s not a public place, says Gretchen McCulloch, author of Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language<\/em><\/a>. \u201cWith email, since it happens in closed groups, you don\u2019t necessarily know the social norms,\u201d McCulloch explains, nor do you know the expectations of the person with whom you\u2019re corresponding. \u201cWith most social media you can converge more quickly by looking first,\u201d she says, adding that it\u2019s easier to pick up on social cues and expectations in this public space. With email, you\u2019re on your own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of this mystery can make us feel insecure about which language we\u2019re using in our own emails, says McCulloch, and might lead us to judge the language we receive that doesn\u2019t fit in with our expectations. Every aspect of an email\u2014the signoff and beyond\u2014is influenced by a slew of factors, including the industry in which we work, our company\u2019s culture<\/a>, and our generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A 2017 study<\/a> conducted by the app Boomerang found that closing emails with the ever-predictable and mundane signoff, \u201cThanks in advance,\u201d yielded the greatest rate of response. But how much joy does it spark? The purpose of a signoff varies, and experts have different opinions about what\u2019s appropriate for particular kinds of audiences. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cherie Kerr, author of The Bliss or “Diss” Connection? Email Etiquette for the Business Professional<\/em><\/a>, told Entrepreneur<\/em><\/a> that a simple \u201cThanks\u201d is a safe and courteous salutation. \u201cIt keeps it pleasant but professional,\u201d she said. On the other hand, Suzanne Bates, president and CEO of Bates Communications Inc. and author of Speak Like a CEO: Secrets For Commanding Attention and Getting Results<\/em><\/a>, said the closing was germane only if you\u2019re truly thanking people. \u201cBut keep in mind it’s casual; you should know them if you’re using this signoff,\u201d she added. According to Bates, a simple \u201csincerely\u201d is a tried-and-true signoff for a \u201cformal business close.\u201d An extra benefit? \u201cYou\u2019ll never offend anyone\u201d with \u201csincerely,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

McCulloch doesn\u2019t associate as many rules with our email language. Often we implement our \u201cdefault\u201d language when writing emails\u2014but what\u2019s considered appropriate varies from person to person. With greetings, McCulloch says she spots a lot of generational disparity<\/a>: \u201cI\u2019ve seen it from all sides of the spectrum,\u201d she says, noting that older generations may introduce with \u201cDear,\u201d an address that millennials tend to find too formal or intimate. Younger generations also seem to worry that an email that opens only with the recipient\u2019s name can be passive-aggressive or imply that the sender is angry. The opportunity for miscommunication in email is neverending. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

The meaningless nicety <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re well.\u201d It says so much yet so little at the same time, and it\u2019s an idiom many of us use to pad the opening of our emails. The innocuous, empty phrase, and those similar to it, are phatic expressions\u2014\u201cphrases that are used for their social function rather than their literal meaning,\u201d McCulloch says, and they\u2019re not just reserved for email. Email writers use phatic expressions in the same way one person greeting another would ask, \u201cHow are you?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s up? \u201din the flesh. Phatic expressions are used to signal social pleasantries rather than to ask for or offer information. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This type of language can feel especially cold or empty over email, but the intention behind it is usually genuine, says McCulloch. If you\u2019re wondering why they can seem so overbearingly awkward, well, blame it on the inherent clumsiness that is email. \u201cIt\u2019s an awkward situation to send someone an email when you don\u2019t know them,\u201d McCulloch says. \u201cPhatic phrases try to mitigate this in a sense.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bottom line: Just assume the best <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Was your archnemesis sending a malicious message by dropping a \u201cCiao\u201d at the end of their email? Or did they just return inspired from a life-altering Italian sabbatical? \u201cWe could all be more generous in terms of what we assume from other people,\u201d McCulloch says. \u201cWe don’t need to immediately rush to assume that this person must be trying to be passive aggressive\u2014it\u2019s often not that personal.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s in your best interest to avoid reading too far into language\u2014especially in email, where inflection, body language, and other social cues are nonexistent. Even when you feel a nagging sensation that suggests certain language is not sincere, believe otherwise. Consider the phrase \u201cper my last email,\u201d which has become somewhat of a meme of its own: The saying, innocent without context, can be precocious and sarcastic when intended. It\u2019s sometimes used to passive-aggressively signify that the recipient is incompetent and has wasted the sender\u2019s time by forcing them to repeat something in a previous email.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/twitter.com\/ajmartinez4\/status\/1166789464137654272\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Seth Godin<\/a>, author of This is Marketing: You Can\u2019t Be Seen Until You Learn to See<\/em><\/a>, recently wrote about sarcasm<\/a> on his blog, explaining how useless it can be in communication. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to imagine a situation where sarcasm is the most effective way to make your point,\u201d Godin writes. \u201cThe problem with sarcasm is that the level of displeasure is hidden. You might come across as snarky when you don\u2019t mean to, or, the snarkiness you were sending might not land.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than assuming the worst when you receive language in your inbox that doesn\u2019t align with your default, try to better understand the sender. McCulloch says she likes to mirror an emailer\u2019s language (if they greet her with an \u201cHello,\u201d she\u2019ll do the same in response) because it helps people feel more comfortable. \u201cIf this is what they see as normal, why not join them in that?\u201d she asks. \u201cThere doesn\u2019t have to be just one right way of doing things, and the idea that there\u2019s only one right way to do language is a problem.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Play dumb if you have to. Or, as Godin puts it, \u201cMy new rule of thumb is to always assume goodwill and ignore any perceived sarcasm. Call it a Type II sarcasm-detection error.\u201d
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