{"id":61709,"date":"2019-08-22T12:12:12","date_gmt":"2019-08-22T16:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=61709"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:53:08","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:53:08","slug":"meetings-meetings-meetings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/meetings-meetings-meetings","title":{"rendered":"Everything you wanted to know about meetings etiquette but were afraid to ask"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>As the space between work and not-work becomes ever more blurred, questions about how to do this thing we plug away at for 30 or 40 or 70 hours a week become all the more expansive. In <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/tag\/work-flow\"><strong><em>Work Flow<\/em><\/strong><\/a><em>, we delve into the novel dilemmas created by the new ways we work, as well as timeless questions about ethics, gender assumptions, and toxic work situations (and how to escape them). How we work is an important component of how we live\u2014and we\u2019re here to help you do better at both.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Something messing with your flow? Unload your work problems here, and you\u2019ll not only feel heard but you\u2019ll also get unbiased, real-world advice. (That\u2019s something your work sibling\/spouse just can\u2019t offer.) Tell us everything: <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\"><em>ideasbywe@wework.com<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>My office suffers from the dreaded TOO MANY MEETINGS syndrome. I barely have time to get anything done\u2014all I do is skip from one meeting to the next, and then I end up staying late to finish up my duties. These meetings are all \u201cmandatory\u201d\u2014 or it\u2019s implied that absence would be frowned upon, even though I don\u2019t think they\u2019re all that helpful for anyone. How do I express to my superiors that never-ending meetings are not helping any of us get stuff done\u2014and is it possible to do this without seeming like I\u2019m not a team player? Can I request to have fewer meetings?&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ahhh, who among us has not been there? Meetings are the bane of many a corporate worker\u2019s existence, and not without basis. There is a lot of research out there about how the proliferation of meetings is a drain on productivity, morale, and more. A <em><a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/07\/stop-the-meeting-madness\">Harvard Business Review<\/a><\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/07\/stop-the-meeting-madness\"> survey<\/a> of 182 senior managers in a range of industries found that: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>65 percent said meetings keep them from completing their own work. <\/li><li>71 percent said meetings are unproductive and inefficient. <\/li><li>64 percent said meetings come at the expense of deep thinking. <\/li><li>62 percent said meetings miss opportunities to bring the team closer together. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The report even cites one woman \u201cstabbing her leg with a pencil to stop from screaming during a particularly torturous staff meeting.\u201d Yikes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many meetings make workers less happy, make it harder to get things done, hurt the company\u2019s bottom line, and leave pencil scars. Everything you\u2019re saying about too many meetings is spot-on, basically. Often, the higher your position at a company, the more time you find yourself called into meetings. One management consultant suggests that we need<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2013\/02\/17\/jobs\/too-many-office-meetings-and-how-to-fight-back.html\"> \u201ca meeting revolution,\u201d<\/a> in which people don\u2019t just accept meeting requests but instead say yes or no based on whether the meeting will actually help them get done what they need to do. Of course, you have to be in a position of power to try that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As for the sheer number of meetings, how many is too many? At least one expert says your meeting load shouldn\u2019t be more than<a href=\"https:\/\/www.entrepreneur.com\/article\/304610\"> 20% of your time.<\/a> It sounds like in your office you\u2019re at a much higher percentage than that.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which brings me to what to do about it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Step one:<\/strong> Track your stats and establish the percentage of time you spend in meetings versus getting actual work done.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Step two:<\/strong> Evaluate which meetings work for you and which don\u2019t\u2014and why. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/why-is-this-meeting-on-my-calendar\">A short meeting that has purpose<\/a> and is run well can be great; a long and meandering agenda-less meeting will have you stabbing your leg with a pencil post-haste. Prepare real, specific feedback.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Step three: <\/strong>Bring this data to your manager\u2014who is surely suffering from meetings overload, too. Present the reality rather than just shouting \u201cTOO MANY MEETINGS!\u201d and ask for suggestions on what could change. \u201cHey, can we talk a bit about my workload and schedule? I notice that I\u2019m in meetings for two-thirds of my day, and I\u2019m not totally sure they\u2019re all useful. Is there a way we might be able to revise my meeting schedule? Can you help me prioritize which meetings are mandatory and which aren\u2019t?\u201d Come armed with an array of those meeting stats I mentioned, for backup.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>This should come off as you being invested in your work and the company as a whole, the teamiest player there is. The great irony: Perhaps some of the meeting fat can be cut from your diet simply by\u2026 having another meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Our manager likes to call a fairly regular breakfast meeting on Monday mornings at 8 a.m., even though our stated office hours are 9-6. Is this legal? I\u2019ve got obligations in the morning (kid dropoff, etc.), and it\u2019s really hard for me to make 8 a.m., but I fear I\u2019ll face repercussions for not being there.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your concerns are real. If the stated work hours are 9-6, and that\u2019s what you signed on for, calling a meeting at 8 a.m. is a little bit\u2026 well, maybe not \u201cillegal\u201d (I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d start with that argument, anyway) but certainly not entirely kosher. He\u2019s adding another hour to the day (without, I assume, taking one away from the back end?), and I\u2019m curious about whether this has been approved by the broader company or if he\u2019s just going rogue. Further, depending on what sort of employee you are (i.e., if you\u2019re entitled to overtime pay), you should be getting money for any extra hours on the job. Is there some reason the meeting can\u2019t happen at 9 a.m.?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The thing is, as you know, often those calling the meetings don\u2019t have quite the same obligations as the people who are required to attend, and managers (particularly those who can afford to hire others to take care of things like childcare, or don\u2019t have children at all, or have stay-at-home spouses) can be a bit myopic about how seemingly small decisions like these affect the entire <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/what-is-organizational-culture\">organizational culture<\/a>. A meeting that interferes with kid dropoff or family time shows that the person calling it isn\u2019t prioritizing your life outside of work\u2014probably because they don\u2019t have to. But everyone needs to have, and protect, a life beyond their office doors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As with my advice above, I\u2019d ask the manager to sit down with you for a quick, casual meeting to explain that this timing is conflicting with your childcare situation\u2014\u201cJane has to be at school right at 7:45, and I\u2019m the sole caregiver, so I can\u2019t be at the office in time for this meeting. Would it be possible to move it to 9 a.m. or another time during our stated hours so I can attend? Or is there another solution you see?\u201d If the manager gives you grief about it, or repercussions ensue, it\u2019s time to take it to HR.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But before you do that, you might also simply gauge the temperature of the office\u2026 you may not be the only person with this issue. In fact, I bet a lot of people, whether they have kids or not, are annoyed about this new 8-a.m.-on-a-Monday thing, which brings the Sunday Scaries to a whole new level, even if there are free bagels and coffee. If you\u2019re not the only one bothered, join forces with others and make your collective voice heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What do you do with an overtalker in meetings? I start saying something, and this person always interrupts and takes over! The polite person in me quiets down, even though it\u2019s not fair\u2026 I started the conversation! How do I handle this elegantly?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Different people have very different talking styles, and what can seem unforgivably rude to one person can be the totally chill norm for another. Georgetown University linguistics professor<a href=\"http:\/\/faculty.georgetown.edu\/bassr\/githens\/tannen.htm\"> Deborah Tannen<\/a> breaks conversationalists into two groups, which may be helpful to think about: &#8220;high-involvement\u201d types\u2014who will speak even though another person is already doing so, often out of enthusiasm\u2014and &#8220;high-considerateness&#8221; speakers, who are less likely to speak until someone is finished. I am high-involvement, my fianc\u00e9 is not, and I know it annoys him when I \u201coverlap\u201d his words, but it is not meant to be rude! (Well, usually it\u2019s not.) If your coworker is \u201chigh-involvement\u201d and you are \u201chigh-considerateness,\u201d know that they\u2019re not necessarily trying to get you to shut up. They\u2019re just talking along with you\u2014some people REALLY hate silence\u2014and you don\u2019t have to stop just because they pitch in. In fact, you should keep going! Say what you need to say, and they will too\u2014throw it into this big, messy conversational pot, stir, and add more.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If this overtalker is an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/how-to-undermine-an-underminer-and-other-toxic-workplace-behavior\">underminer<\/a>, or overtalking, maybe, to grab credit, or even changing the subject entirely, that\u2019s more about dominance than support or individual conversational foibles. Tannen calls it \u201cuncooperative overlap.\u201d You should feel free to keep saying your piece\u2014offer up a polite but brisk, \u201cOh, I wasn\u2019t finished just yet,\u201d or \u201cBefore we move on, I have a bit more to say about that,\u201d and step back in. Just because someone else starts talking doesn\u2019t mean you have to shut down. And just because you started a conversation doesn\u2019t mean you automatically get to finish it. It takes more than one to talk.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to make the best of those unavoidable group gatherings\u2014and what to do when they\u2019re not working for you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1766,"featured_media":61710,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902,43908],"tags":[503,1488,10213],"class_list":["post-61709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development","category-creativity-culture","tag-culture","tag-management","tag-work-flow"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.4 (Yoast SEO v25.3.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Everything you wanted to know about meetings etiquette but were afraid to 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