{"id":4919,"date":"2019-05-30T14:58:03","date_gmt":"2019-05-30T18:58:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=4919"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:52:52","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:52:52","slug":"dealing-with-allergy-triggers-gross-eaters-and-a-deskside-crying-jag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/dealing-with-allergy-triggers-gross-eaters-and-a-deskside-crying-jag","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with allergy triggers, gross eaters, and a deskside crying jag"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As the space between work and not-work becomes ever more blurred, questions about how to do this thing we plug away at for 30 or 40 or 70 hours a week become all the more expansive. In <\/em>Work Flow<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, we delve into the novel dilemmas created by the new ways we work, as well as timeless questions about ethics, gender assumptions, and toxic work situations (and how to escape them). How we work is an important component of how we live\u2014and we\u2019re here to help you do better at both.<\/em>

Something messing with your flow? Unload your work problems here, and you\u2019ll not only feel heard but you\u2019ll also get unbiased, real-world advice. (That\u2019s something your work sibling\/spouse just can\u2019t offer.) Tell us everything: <\/a>ideasbywe@wework.com<\/a><\/em>.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a coworker who is a lovely person, other than the fact that he keeps bringing in food that I\u2019m deathly allergic to, i.e., anaphylactic shock levels. I\u2019ve asked him to stop, but he just doesn\u2019t seem to get it. He claims he forgets and is always apologetic, but he keeps bringing in the same stuff! Please help!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do not think this is a lovely person at all! Maybe this is a relatively OK person, except for the fact that he\u2019s a big jerk who keeps bringing in something that might get you sick and… cause you to die. That\u2019s pretty uncool, really, and your company probably has some policy against it\u2014in general, companies do<\/em> want to keep you safe and healthy and not subject you to undue harm while on the job, not least because if you have to be ambulanced away from the workplace, you can\u2019t work, and also there could be some pretty major liability issues on their part. Luckily, you know very clearly what you\u2019re allergic to. Now you just have to get your company to help you make that clear to your coworker. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since you talking nicely to the guy hasn\u2019t changed his ways, I suggest going to your company HR (if you have no HR, talk to your boss) and explain your situation (they should know, anyway, so that they can help you in an emergency). A doctor\u2019s note may help. Even though many people suffer from life-threatening allergies like you do, it\u2019s unfortunately also true that some people still think allergy sufferers are just \u201cpicky eaters\u201d or fussy. Your doctor\u2019s weigh-in informing the workplace that this is indeed a life-or-death issue should make it clear your case is not something to be taken lightly. In fact, your level of allergic reaction would fall under the Americans with Disabilities Act<\/a>, which means your employer has to give you certain protective accommodations, like insisting this guy leaves his PBJ (or whatever the offending substance is) at home. They should really forbid the food in the office altogether, akin to the way airlines do when someone on board has a peanut allergy. It\u2019s not worth the risk\u2014to you or to them. This guy surely has other things he can eat. If your company doesn\u2019t make accommodations, it\u2019s time to talk to a lawyer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, also, I\u2019m sure you already have an EpiPen or one of the new generic forms<\/a> of the shot\u2026 keep it with you at all times, just in case. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the people in my office eat at their desks, which I guess is kind of problematic, but that\u2019s the company culture. I wouldn\u2019t mind, except come lunchtime everyday I\u2019m surrounded by gross eaters, like one guy who chews super loudly and another person who gets whatever she\u2019s eating all over her keyboard and desk area. I just feel so grossed out all the time I don\u2019t even want to eat my lunch! Is there anything I can do? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

These food questions are making me hungry. OK, so back when I was a blogger, I would eat lunch at my desk daily, and one day I was so committed to the task at hand that when I accidentally knocked my salad off my desk, I let its many components lie on the floor around me while I finished my post, because it was so urgent to publish<\/em>. Dear former coworkers: I am sorry. Let this be a cautionary tale. It is not healthy or sane not to take a proper lunch break. Even though your coworkers are clearly monsters, I really think you\u2019re better off letting them be disgusting at the office and taking your lunch in the outside world. Find a nice grassy spot in a park! Grab a slice and go for a short walk! Or perhaps you have a company break room that is empty since everyone eats at their desk? Eat there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You definitely could also say something, but I just don\u2019t think that loud, gross eaters are going to fix their loud, gross eating. They may not even be able to. Do you also get grossed out in restaurants or at the dinner table, or is it just that your colleagues are particularly medieval? If it\u2019s the former, you might have a particular sensitivity to these noises\u2014misophonia<\/a> is \u201ca strong dislike or hatred of specific sounds.\u201d Note, per WebMD, \u201cIndividuals with misophonia often report they are triggered by oral sounds\u2014the noise someone makes when they eat, breathe, or even chew.\u201d (You\u2019re certainly not the only one who feels this way.) If you do think you have misophonia, therapy may be able to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another solution, if you really just can\u2019t bear to leave your desk during the workday, is to get yourself some noise-canceling headphones and wear them while those around you chomp and spray their hunger away. Keep your eyes focused on your computer screen and maybe you won\u2019t even notice. But, um, doesn\u2019t taking yourself out for a nice lunch\u2014whether it\u2019s in a caf\u00e9 or on a park bench with your homemade sandwich\u2014sound even better? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other day I was having a really bad moment, feeling overwhelmed on the job and about my life in general, and my boss caught me crying at my desk. How do I live this down? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I completely understand how you feel. After all, we live in a society in which tears often equal seeming \u201cout of control\u201d or \u201chysterical\u201d (and are fraught in different ways whether we\u2019re women or men) but know this: It is OK! You do not have to live this down<\/em>. Tears are an exceedingly normal part of life, and one that society would be better off embracing instead of frowning upon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Researchers say crying can be a really healthy way to relieve stress<\/a>. It helps us self-soothe and can boost our mood. And crying is actually an evolutionary response that triggers compassion and support from those around you<\/a>. Lots and lots of people have cried in the office, me included. According to a survey from the staffing firm Accountemps<\/a>, 45 percent of workers confessed they\u2019d done it, and about the same percentage of CFOs said crying on the job was \u201cacceptable as long as it’s not an everyday occurrence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since it seems like you\u2019re not on a crying jag, my recommendation is to simply keep on doing your work and being the best employee you can be\u2014no need to mention the tears. With a bit of time, no one is going to be thinking about it at all. If your boss brings it up (perhaps his or her compassion response was triggered), you can explain what you told me: You were feeling overwhelmed that day. But if you do feel like crying more days than not, or if the overwhelmed feeling is happening more and more, I\u2019d suggest seeking out a psychologist with whom you can explore any underlying issues. There\u2019s no better place to cry than a therapist\u2019s office, take it from me.<\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How to keep things professional when it feels like you can\u2019t control others\u2014or even yourself<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1766,"featured_media":5048,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902,43908],"tags":[525,1444,10213],"class_list":["post-4919","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development","category-creativity-culture","tag-personal-growth","tag-career","tag-work-flow"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDealing with allergy triggers, gross eaters, and a deskside crying jag<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to keep things professional when it feels like you can\u2019t control others\u2014or even yourself\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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