{"id":4286,"date":"2019-07-22T10:00:33","date_gmt":"2019-07-22T14:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=4286"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:53:01","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:53:01","slug":"want-to-get-ahead-at-work-prioritize-your-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/want-to-get-ahead-at-work-prioritize-your-mental-health","title":{"rendered":"Want to get ahead at work? Prioritize your mental health"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nearly five years ago, author Lori Gottlieb was at a crossroads\u2014and facing a crisis. An author-turned-psychotherapist who had achieved best-seller status with 2010\u2019s Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Gottlieb was juggling a broken heart from a bad breakup, an overdue deadline, and a full caseload of clients. The results of that tumultuous year became Maybe You Should Talk to Someone<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>a current New York Times<\/em> best seller. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the memoir, Gottlieb gets real about what goes on in her head as a psychologist and <\/em>as a client, shattering the misconception that therapists have all the answers. Here, Gottlieb shares five lessons she\u2019s learned from both sides of the couch on the importance of making time for mental health no matter how busy your Google calendar, how to listen to your gut, and why your therapist doesn\u2019t care (that much) about your childhood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therapy is about your present and future\u2014not your past<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPeople who come into therapy assume that it\u2019s talking about your childhood ad nauseam,\u201d says Gottlieb. But Gottlieb sees therapy as a mini-lab where you have a safe space to explore your emotional responses. \u201cIt\u2019s gaining an awareness of yourself and how you may shoot yourself in the foot over and over again,\u201d she says. \u201cA therapist is holding up a mirror to your behavior, helping you see yourself more clearly.\u201d While your childhood can offer insight into how you currently manage relationships, most psychotherapy is more concerned with the here and now of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

Quitting isn\u2019t failure <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Gottlieb was on contract to write a nonfiction book on happiness\u2014and had written about three-quarters of the draft. But every time she sat down she felt a sense of dread. \u201cI felt I had to do it. I was a single parent, I had grad-school loans, and my agent was telling me I would never write a book again if I canceled the contract,\u201d says Gottlieb. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t want to do it.\u201d Despite protests from the people around her, Gottlieb canceled her contract\u2014without a plan B. \u201cOne of the things my own therapist was telling me is that we think we\u2019re in this cage, but even though there are bars in front of us, there\u2019s empty space to the right and to the left.\u201d Gottlieb is aware that not every \u201cI quit\u201d action has a happy ending, but finding these escapes is key. \u201cWe feel we don\u2019t have a choice due to outside constraints, but there is always a choice.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mental-health care can lead to professional success <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you were having chest pains, you would go to the ER, right?\u201d asks Gottlieb, who wishes people would view mental health with the same urgency. \u201cPeople justify: They think that they have a job, a roof, food on the the table, friends, and they\u2019re doing fine. We minimize the importance of our emotional health.\u201d Gottlieb emphasizes that you don\u2019t need to be in crisis to seek mental-health help\u2014it can make what\u2019s already going well in your life go even more smoothly. \u201cOur emotional health is so crucial to our wellbeing. It\u2019s crucial to our physical health, and it\u2019s also crucial to our success. For people who want success, I would say focusing on emotional health is a key factor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marie Kondo the \u2018shoulds\u2019 from your life <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Working with one young woman with terminal cancer made Gottlieb more proactive in how she lived her life. \u201cThis client noticed so many of her friends were putting off plans for the next year or next five years,\u201d she says. \u201cBut she didn\u2019t have that luxury.\u201d That changed the way Gottlieb approaches her own life. \u201cWe spend so much time doing things that aren\u2019t engaging. Why?\u201d asks Gottlieb. It\u2019s also equally important to take stock of what we have right now\u2014rather than focus on what we want to have in five years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Share vulnerabilities at work<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

While mental-health stigma still exists, says Gottlieb, the conversation is slowly changing as people admit their vulnerabilities. If you\u2019re in a leadership position, make mental health part of the conversation at the office. Designate mental-health days and share your own highs and lows, as appropriate. \u201cNo matter how charmed someone\u2019s life may be, the human experience is about struggle,\u201d notes Gottlieb. \u201cGetting away from screens, having face-to-face conversations and human connections is one way to see there\u2019s nothing shameful or isolating about struggle.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n