{"id":3545,"date":"2019-05-10T15:43:31","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T19:43:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=3545"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:52:50","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:52:50","slug":"five-smart-reads-for-new-working-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/five-smart-reads-for-new-working-parents","title":{"rendered":"Five smart reads for new working parents"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>As a book lover and over-preparer, I read more than 100 books before the birth of my daughter, Lucy, now 4. In some ways, all that prep paid off: While <em>of course <\/em>having an infant was much more complicated than the books made it out to be, reading them helped me at least know the basics of newborn care, including when to call the actual doctor vs. relying on Dr. Google. The hard part for me came later, once I was back at work and Lucy was in childcare. I had to learn to schedule my work days around unexpected illness, snow days, and the mad dash out of the office in order to make daycare pickup. Books that talked about the realities of being a working parent seemed scarce, even in 2015.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But in the past few years some excellent books have acknowledged that being a working parent may <em>always <\/em>be complicated. Whether you\u2019re a current parent, future parent, or a supporter of the working parents in your office, these books are valuable guides for the \u201cHow do I achieve the career I want and have the family life I need?\u201d struggle. And while many may be specific to mothers (after all, working dads don\u2019t worry about scheduling pumping breaks), both parents will appreciate the many key realizations and sanity-saving hacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2  id=\"1-dont-have-a-work-uniform-get-one\"class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1. Don\u2019t have a work uniform? Get one. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/ideas\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2019\/05\/20190510-New-Working-Parents-Reads-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3663\" width=\"125\" height=\"175\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Button-up and jeans? Hoodie and Allbirds? While \u201cwork uniforms\u201d may be mocked as the look of the startup scene, they\u2019re invaluable for any working parent who needs to get out the door quickly every morning. Practical tips like this populate Lauren Smith Brody\u2019s book, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Fifth-Trimester-Working-Sanity-Success-ebook\/dp\/B01ILZOZ7Y\"><em>The Fifth Trimester<\/em><\/a>. While \u201cthe fourth trimester\u201d has been used to describe the first three months of a newborn\u2019s life, Brody coins \u201cthe fifth trimester\u201d to describe the challenge of heading back to work once maternity leave is done. Using plenty of anecdotes and <em>why didn\u2019t I think of that? <\/em>advice (pro tip: Start work post-maternity leave on a Wednesday, so you can ramp up to a five-day week), Brody doesn\u2019t sugarcoat the return to work. It\u2019s hard. It\u2019s unfair. You may cry, and your boss may try to paint your emotional vulnerability as professional weakness. But by acknowledging the realities some women face, Brody offers a handbook that can help new parents formulate a plan to get through those first months back at work. (Read <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/these-founders-want-to-be-every-new-moms-bump-buddy\">her story<\/a> on postpartum products for new mothers.)<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2  id=\"2-choose-priorities-delegate-outsource-or-forget-the-rest\"class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2. Choose priorities. Delegate, outsource, or forget the rest.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/ideas\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2019\/05\/20190510-New-Working-Parents-Reads-3.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3666\" width=\"125\" height=\"175\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>While two working adults can often find an egalitarian system in domesticity (late nights working = takeout), everything becomes more complicated with a child in the mix. In <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B077MBP9XV\/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\">Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward<\/a>, <\/em>Gemma Hartley focuses on the concept of \u201cemotional labor\u201d\u2014the <em>who finds the babysitter, schedules the pediatrician appointment, and makes sure the dog is walked every day?<\/em>\u2014that tends to get out of balance post-baby. While the subtitle of the book addresses women, one parent I know with a same-sex spouse told me how much he got out of the book, and how much it changed the dynamics between him and his husband when it came to caring for their infant. Key for new parents: Hartley suggests discussing priorities with your partner. Yes, it\u2019s essential that the kids be picked up and fed each night. But how tidy does the house need to be on a daily basis? If tidiness is an essential for one of you, consider outsourcing housekeeping. And if buying presents for the extended family stresses you out, have your partner take over the task for a year\u2014but don\u2019t criticize if 2019 becomes the year of coffee gift cards for everyone. <br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2  id=\"3-your-kids-will-become-part-of-your-work-life-own-it\"class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3. Your kids <em>will <\/em>become part of your work life. Own it. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/ideas\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2019\/05\/20190510-New-Working-Parents-Reads-8.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3668\" width=\"125\" height=\"175\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>No, Michelle Obama\u2019s <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Becoming-Michelle-Obama-ebook\/dp\/B079ZYWJJ8\/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=becoming+Michelle+obama&amp;qid=1555092656&amp;s=digital-text&amp;sr=1-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\">Becoming<\/a><\/em> is not a parenting manual. But when I read the chapter about Obama bringing infant Malia to a job interview, I realized just how important the narratives of powerful women struggling to balance it all are\u2014and how often they\u2019re missing. I love that Obama expressed her frustration and anger when her husband wasn\u2019t available to do the heavy-lifting of parenting during his senatorial campaign. I love that she\u2019s honest about how relationship counseling helped both of them become better parents and spouses, <em>and <\/em>more effective at their jobs. Seeing parenting in a memoir\u2014not a <em>parenting memoir\u2014<\/em>is a trend that I hope continues. After all, your kids change the way you approach everything\u2014including work. <br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2  id=\"4-your-experience-with-parenting-is-different-than-your-partners-and-other-parents-talk-through-what-you-dont-understand-and-dont-be-afraid-to-seek-help\"class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>4. Your experience with parenting is different than your partner\u2019s and other parents\u2019. Talk through what you don\u2019t understand\u2014and don\u2019t be afraid to seek help.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/ideas\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2019\/05\/20190510-New-Working-Parents-Reads-4.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3673\" width=\"125\" height=\"175\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>When I went back to my first office job when my daughter was seven months old, I cried at my desk every morning. It wasn\u2019t because I missed her or because I was overwhelmed. Retrospectively, I realized so much of my emotional lability was because of massive hormonal shifts. In <em><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/What-One-Tells-You-Motherhood-ebook\/dp\/B07GNRG71D\/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Alexandra+sacks&amp;qid=1555091969&amp;s=digital-text&amp;sr=1-1-catcorr\" target=\"_blank\">What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions From Pregnancy to Motherhood<\/a>, <\/em>Alexandra Sacks explores the concept of \u201cmatrescence\u201d\u2014the change women experience when they become mothers. This book is a resource for parents who may have the <em>hows <\/em>of parenting on lock, but know that even having an encyclopedic knowledge of best practices for bottle feeding isn\u2019t enough to account for the emotional uncertainty that can be part of parenthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2  id=\"5-flexibility-isnt-just-a-parent-thing\"class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>5. Flexibility isn\u2019t just a \u201cparent\u201d thing<\/strong>.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/ideas\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2019\/05\/20190510-New-Working-Parents-Reads-5.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3669\" width=\"125\" height=\"175\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>For anyone who\u2019s wondered whether they \u201cshould\u201d search for a new position, accept a promotion, or look for investors while they start a family, author Allyson Downey reminds parents they don\u2019t need permission to be ambitious as a new parent. In her book, <em><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Heres-Plan-Practical-Advancing-Parenthood-ebook\/dp\/B01CXL7WUE\/ref=pd_sim_351_15?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_i=B01CXL7WUE&amp;pd_rd_r=8b55edc5-5d4d-11e9-97cc-7fd3667cd97a&amp;pd_rd_w=p8J7X&amp;pd_rd_wg=OBoEM&amp;pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&amp;pf_rd_r=G50PR09HCYD3G3W9Q02D&amp;psc=1&amp;refRID=G50PR09HCYD3G3W9Q02D\" target=\"_blank\">Here\u2019s the Plan: Your Practical, Tactical Guide to Advancing Your Career During Pregnancy and Parenting<\/a>, <\/em>she reminds readers that family-friendly policies are <em>employee-friendly<\/em> policies, and that an office culture in which employers feel supported and empowered to care for their family\u2014whether a child, aging parents, a beloved pet, or a combination thereof\u2014fosters loyalty and goodwill. There\u2019s also great advice for parents and parents-to-be, including how to make a child-coverage plan; been-there anecdotes about dealing with a hostile-to-parents work environment; and solid reassurances (mommy brain is a myth, according to science). This book is key to creating the new normal when it comes to being all in at home and at work.<\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>These books offer clear, honest advice on how to create the new normal when it comes to being all-in at home and at work<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1850,"featured_media":3657,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902,43908],"tags":[525,1444],"class_list":["post-3545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development","category-creativity-culture","tag-personal-growth","tag-career"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.4 (Yoast SEO v25.3.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Five smart reads for new working 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