{"id":3287,"date":"2013-11-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-10T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/creator\/?p=3287"},"modified":"2020-03-30T19:09:59","modified_gmt":"2020-03-30T23:09:59","slug":"7-tips-for-mentors-establish-effective-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/7-tips-for-mentors-establish-effective-relationship","title":{"rendered":"Seven tips for mentors to establish an effective relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg\u2019s\u00a0Lean In, and the \u201cAre You My Mentor?\u201d chapter really stood out for me. It highlighted an issue I’ve grappled with for years: how awkward and ineffective a formal mentorship can be.<\/p>\n

There’s already plenty of advice for young people on how to be good mentees. But as someone who has been both a mentor and a mentee, I want to provide some solid tips to mentors instead, so they can guide their mentees in a more meaningful way:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Don’t say you’re open to mentoring young entrepreneurs unless you have time.\u00a0<\/strong>While I believe that most mentoring should happen organically, if you\u00a0dovolunteer to be an advisor or a mentor for a formal program, make the time. Leaving young entrepreneurs hanging is the equivalent of having an amazing date and never calling again: not a good look. If you\u2019re excited about a young entrepreneur, email them back (even if it\u2019s just to say you\u2019re busy and will follow-up in a month).<\/li>\n
  2. Don\u2019t call yourself a mentor on the first date<\/strong>.\u00a0I recently had a man I’d never met before introduce me to a woman (who I had also never met) by saying: \u201cWe really loved your pitch. I wanted to introduce you to my colleague. I think she would make a really great mentor for you.\u201d The woman then concurred and said, \u201cI\u2019d really love to be your mentor.\u201d It felt like someone was proposing marriage on the first date. It was tough to respond because I didn\u2019t know anything about the woman, I didn\u2019t know why she thought she\u2019d be a good mentor, and I had no idea how she defined mentoring. If you want to be someone’s mentor, be cool. Don\u2019t come out of the gates asking for a mentorship relationship. Let the relationship evolve.<\/li>\n
  3. Do set boundaries.\u00a0<\/strong>I participated as a mentor in a formal mentoring program for high school girls. My mentee and I became really close, and I was able to guide her through a lot of tough decisions about school, applying to college, working and so on. However, towards the end of the year, she started asking about things like drinking and boyfriends. While I was comfortable with certain things, there were other things that were not appropriate to discuss. As a mentor, you need to set the limits on what you will and won’t advise about. Your relationship with your mentee will hopefully be a very close one, but make sure that you’re comfortable with all of the topics you’re discussing.<\/li>\n
  4. Don\u2019t eliminate all personal issues<\/strong>.\u00a0I know a lot of mentors want to focus only on \u201cwork and career\u201d issues, but (especially for women) career often intersects with our personal lives, so it can be helpful for your mentee to talk about\u00a0certain\u00a0personal issues. One of my “mentors” (really, I just see her as a friend who gives great advice) recently listened as I vented about a stressful situation. As a result, she noticed a pattern in my behavior that crossed from my career into my personal life: I was too trusting. Now it\u2019s something I\u2019m working on. As a mentor, don\u2019t shy away from talking about certain personal issues; they can actually illuminate patterns that hold your mentee back in her career.<\/li>\n
  5. Do introduce, invite, and observe.\u00a0<\/strong>A lot of mentoring sessions happen one-on-one, either over coffee, lunch, or on the phone\/Skype. While those are great for hashing out problems, observing your mentee is also valuable. I make it a point to invite my mentees to events I\u2019m attending or make introductions for them. Observing your mentees in action allows you to give even better feedback. Are they nervous about walking up to people they don\u2019t know? Are they too overbearing when talking in groups? My ability to help my mentees is much greater when I can observe them in a variety of settings.<\/li>\n
  6. Don\u2019t be afraid to mentor someone older than you.\u00a0<\/strong>We traditionally think of mentors as people who are older than us, but that couldn\u2019t be farther from the truth. Not only have I been mentored by someone younger than me, but I\u2019ve also mentored someone older than me. Age does NOT matter when it comes to mentoring — don\u2019t shy away from a mentorship opportunity because the age dynamic might be weird. Besides, there are plenty of kick-ass startup founders out there who are starting big companies right out of school. They can certainly teach a bunch of oldsters some new, successful tricks!<\/li>\n
  7. Do have a mentor yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0Even if you\u2019ve IPOed your company, there are still things that you probably want to accomplish, whether they are personal or career-oriented. Always be learning — you\u2019ll need to learn from different people at different points in your life. And who knows, you might just learn a thing or two from your mentee, too!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The Young Entrepreneur Council<\/a>\u00a0(YEC) is an invite-only organization comprised of the world\u2019s most promising young entrepreneurs. In partnership with Citi, the YEC recently launched #StartupLab<\/a>, a free virtual mentorship program that helps millions of entrepreneurs start and grow businesses via live video chats, an expert content library and email lessons<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg\u2019s\u00a0Lean In, and the \u201cAre You My Mentor?\u201d chapter really stood out for me. It highlighted an issue I’ve grappled with for years: how awkward and ineffective a formal mentorship can be. There’s already plenty of advice for young people on how to be good mentees. But as someone who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":977,"featured_media":33870,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n7 tips for mentors to establish an effective relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg\u2019s\u00a0Lean In, and the \u201cAre You My Mentor?\u201d chapter really stood out for me. 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