{"id":32503,"date":"2019-03-06T09:36:23","date_gmt":"2019-03-06T14:36:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/creator\/creator\/?p=32503"},"modified":"2020-02-26T14:33:07","modified_gmt":"2020-02-26T19:33:07","slug":"how-can-women-get-paid-what-they-deserve-and-breaking-into-a-work-clique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/management-leadership\/how-can-women-get-paid-what-they-deserve-and-breaking-into-a-work-clique","title":{"rendered":"How can women get paid what they deserve?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As<\/em> the space between work and not-work becomes ever more blurred, questions about how to do this thing we plug away at for 30 or 40 or 70 hours a week become all the more expansive. In this column, Work Flow<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, we\u2019ll delve into the novel dilemmas created by the new ways we work, as well as timeless questions about ethics, gender assumptions, and toxic work situations (and how to escape them). How we work is an important component of how we live\u2014and we\u2019re here to help you do better at both.<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something messing with your flow? Unload your work problems here, and you\u2019ll not only feel heard, but you\u2019ll also get unbiased, real-world advice. (That\u2019s something your work sibling\/spouse just can\u2019t offer.) Tell us everything:\u00a0ideasbywe@wework.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I\u2019ve read that women in America now make around 80 cents on the dollar compared to what men make. I have consistently heard that this is because women do not ask for raises and therefore they are paid less than men. I wonder if this is really the case, or if women are asking and they aren’t getting the raises they deserve, yet when men ask they just get it? What can I do to ensure I get paid what I deserve? <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are correct that the <\/span>average gender pay gap is 80 percent<\/span><\/a>, based on \u201c<\/span>the median annual pay of all women who work full time and year-round, compared to the pay of a similar cohort of men.\u201d But it gets worse: Depending on education, age, racial bias, disability, etc., that gap becomes even more extreme. Women certainly ask for raises just like men do, but I can\u2019t give you the numbers on who asks more, or if men are simply more likely to get them when they ask. I can say that there are clearly entrenched social structures that factor into the way men and women are rewarded for their work in this world. And these structures skew toward accommodating men, who were traditionally the handlers and makers of money. (A horrifying reminder: Until the \u201870s, <\/span>women couldn\u2019t even apply for credit<\/span><\/a> in their own names, among other things.) <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the very simple (yet hard\u2014why are simple things so hard sometimes?) ways to combat the gender pay gap is to do what many companies don\u2019t want you to do: Share your pay information with colleagues, and encourage them to share as well. This is especially incumbent upon men, who have benefited from structural financial privilege for ages: Tell your female coworkers what you make. Ask around about what your male coworkers make. Level the playing field for everyone. (There\u2019s a lot of helpful reading on this topic, including a piece in the<\/span> New York Times<\/em><\/span><\/i> on <\/span>why we should share our salaries, and how to go about it<\/span><\/a>.)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overall, I\u2019d urge discretion: Share among people you trust, and in a way that feels right (i.e., don\u2019t shout it out in the middle of the break room and demand others \u2019fess up, too). Sometimes employers forbid sharing pay information\u2014though that\u2019s not actually legal, according to the <\/span>1935 National Labor Relations Act<\/span><\/a>. President Barack Obama <\/span>signed an executive order in 2014 to make more employers aware of the law<\/span><\/a>. If there is any retribution for sharing your salary, you can turn to HR, because legally, with some exceptions, you\u2019re in the clear. If HR doesn\u2019t help, it\u2019s time to find a lawyer.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should also do all you can to educate yourself on what people make at various levels of your industry. The internet is a great place for such research: Because people can remain anonymous, they are more likely to share freely (though, as with anything online, gut-check what you read). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Know your worth, and do not hesitate to ask for a raise\u2014in fact, make it a goal to do this annually. When you do so, make a strong, evidence-based case for why your work is deserving of a raise. Have a real track record for your success; don\u2019t make it a tit-for-tat conversation about what you\u2019ve observed other people earn. If you do think you have a pay discrimination case\u2014<\/span>start by reading this<\/span><\/a>\u2014seek an employment lawyer in your state; some may consult with you without incurring a fee.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: There’s this group that hangs out together at a spot where I like to work. They’re clearly all really good friends\u2014they take afternoon coffee breaks at the same time, they whisper with each other in the morning with knowing smiles, and they seem to do things together outside of work-time. They have their own little social ecosystem going, and it looks fun, and I want in. It\u2019s been a long time since I’ve felt like the new kid at school, and it’s strange to rediscover these feelings as the outsider. Since we don\u2019t actually work for the same company, there aren\u2019t the usual excuses to get to know one another. I\u2019ve tried approaching them individually and said hello, and they\u2019re generally friendly, but our interactions are perfunctory (“Good morning,\u201d and then they switch right back to their laptops), whereas theirs seem deeper, and tinged with laughter and inside jokes. Help! How do I get on more friendly terms with them without feeling like a total loser? Or is this anxiety ridiculous? <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, let me reassure you, anxiety is never ridiculous. It\u2019s scary for the majority of us to meet new people, and even more scary when the stakes are, \u201cCan I get these people who seem really cool to like me?\u201d You\u2019re putting yourself out there, and the fear of rejection\u2014and therefore, seeming terribly <\/span>un<\/span><\/i>cool\u2014is real. But keep in mind: Much like a job interview, the initial stages of any friendship are about seeing whether <\/span>you<\/em><\/span><\/i> like a person as much as they are about making that person like you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So. You see these people regularly, you think you like them, and they see you regularly, too, and are at least making basic friendliness gestures, so that\u2019s promising. But they\u2019re all comfortable in their group, and you\u2019re alone and want more, so unfortunately, it\u2019s up to you to make the next move. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t recommend going full <\/span>Notting Hill<\/em>, <\/span><\/i>standing in front of them and asking them to love you. I\u2019d focus, and start small. Is there one person in this group who seems more approachable than the rest, or whom you seem to share moments with? (i.e., you\u2019re both always getting up for coffee at the same time, or you find yourself both laughing when something silly happens? Do you both have the same \u201cSave the Whales\u201d sticker on your laptops?) When the two of you are not entrenched in work\/computers\/phones\u2014say, heading out to get lunch or getting up to take a break\u2014ask them something. This can be pretty generic: \u201cHow long have you been working here?\u201d \u201cAre those corn muffins any good?\u201d Or \u201cI love your shirt, where did you get it?\u201d Or maybe you\u2019re both nodding along to a song: \u201cDid you see this band when they played here last summer? I\u2019m a huge fan.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If that initial conversational stuff goes well, move forward: Suggest hanging out outside of work. \u201cIf you\u2019re ever up for a beer after work, there\u2019s this really cool place nearby,\u201d or, \u201cThat band we both love is in town next week\u2014want to see them?\u201d Make sure to listen as well or better than you talk. Ask questions and be genuinely interested. If your interaction with that first person goes well, you\u2019ve got an in to start sitting with the group, and from that, the future is yours.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you get the brush-off, that\u2019s on them, not you. Maybe they\u2019re not as cool as you think. But you\u2019re never a loser just because you tried to make new friends. And if you\u2019re watching this group and wanting to be friends with them, there\u2019s a good chance someone is looking at you and doing the same. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I know most people are bothered when someone leaves the coffee pot empty, but I can\u2019t stand the way my office colleagues make coffee. Is it OK to toss out a full (but way too weak) pot of coffee so I can brew a proper cup?<\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This may be controversial but\u2026 yes. Life is too short for bad coffee. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our work advice columnist on campaigning for equal pay\u2014and how to break into a work clique<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1766,"featured_media":32517,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902,43909],"tags":[512,525,10213],"class_list":["post-32503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development","category-management-leadership","tag-impact","tag-personal-growth","tag-work-flow"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow can women get paid what they deserve?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our advice columnist delves into the novel dilemmas created by the new ways we work.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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