{"id":3000013669,"date":"2020-05-27T14:47:33","date_gmt":"2020-05-27T18:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/?p=3000013669"},"modified":"2020-09-03T05:53:28","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:53:28","slug":"whats-the-right-way-to-give-feedback-over-video-chat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/management-leadership\/whats-the-right-way-to-give-feedback-over-video-chat","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s the right way to give feedback over video chat?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As\u00a0the space between work and not-work becomes ever more blurred, questions about how to do this thing we plug away at for 30 or 40 or 70 hours a week become all the more expansive.\u00a0In <\/em>Work Flow<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, we delve into the novel dilemmas created by the new ways we work, as well as timeless questions about ethics, gender assumptions, and toxic work situations (and how to escape them). How we work is an important component of how we live\u2014and we\u2019re here to help you do better at both.<\/em>

Something messing with your flow? Unload your work problems here, and you\u2019ll not only feel heard but you\u2019ll also get unbiased, real-world advice. (That\u2019s something your work sibling\/spouse just can\u2019t offer.) Tell us everything:\u00a0<\/em>ideasbywe@wework.com<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q1: My manager has always been an extremely hands-off, \u201cyou figure it out\u201d type who doesn\u2019t really want to spend a lot of time explaining or even talking much at all. Which is fine sometimes, but now that I\u2019m isolated and working from home all day, I find myself needing more support and day-to-day contact, as well as clear instructions on what needs to be done as things change. How do I approach this conversation about how I need them to guide me, especially because it\u2019ll be via video chat, which I already find to be an awkward way to communicate? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q2: I have an employee who has been unable to meet the goals we set before we all started working from home. How do I deal with this while also being understanding about the disruptions in workload and life that are happening now? I realize we’re in a world health crisis, but there are certain things that need to happen to keep the business running. Help!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m including two questions here because\u2014although they each come from different places and levels at different organizations\u2014they both address the same basic topic, something many of us are struggling with right now: giving feedback<\/a>. This can be challenging under normal circumstances. But it is especially difficult to give feedback that will bring about change when you\u2019re already struggling to communicate<\/a> in a new way while most teams are working remotely<\/a>\u2014and you’re probably personally overloaded<\/a> to boot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two challenges here. One is adapting to the still relatively new (to us) technology of videoconferencing<\/a> and making it as seamless as possible for you to use it. The second is giving the feedback itself, whether it\u2019s for your manager or for someone who works for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As far as the first one goes, take a moment to review this piece on how to have a productive virtual meeting<\/a> to make sure you have all your bases covered. Ask yourself: Is your technology reliable? Test it to find out! Are you muting yourself when others are speaking? Do you have a handle on not interrupting\/waiting for your turn to speak? (This can be challenging, and mistakes are OK!) Are you wearing clothes (I hope so!), not eating, and paying attention? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other things to consider: your posture (sit up straight, like your mom always told you); minimizing the distractions<\/a> around you (I put my dogs in another room or have my husband take them for a walk before I do an important call); making eye contact and not gazing off somewhere in the distance (or at other things on your computer). In fact, do yourself a favor and shut down anything else that might be going on in the background so you can focus 100 percent on your virtual meeting. Avoid the pull to multitask. On video chat, it\u2019s pretty obvious when you\u2019re not paying attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If video-chatting is super new to you, or you\u2019re especially nervous, you might even practice doing it a few times with a friend or family member before you have a big work meeting. Note: Sometimes there can be a delay in video chats. Check your internet connection, or dial in again, because having a tough conversation when your tech isn’t working correctly is an exercise in frustration and futility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019ve got it, you\u2019ve got it. Time to move on to the feedback portion of things. The basic rules of giving feedback in person also apply to video chats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Figure out beforehand what you actually want to say<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

What is the issue at hand? What do you want to get from this conversation? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the case of question one, it\u2019s best to request some one-on-one time in which you can ask questions and get responses\u2014in fact, you want to give feedback to your manager so that your manager will in return give you<\/em> feedback. You want to open up the channels of conversation so you feel less alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does this look like to you? Spend some time imagining the best-case scenario: Maybe this is a weekly meeting or a daily one, or maybe it has to only happen once or twice for you to get the information and support you need. Just because your manager isn\u2019t a hands-on kind of person doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t ask for help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

Write up a little script or outline for yourself\u2014it always helps me to have something written out that I can refer to in the moment\u2014on what you think will make your work life a little better. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the case of question two, you\u2019re struggling to figure out how to address performance in a particularly challenging time. I think your first step would be to open up an honest conversation with this employee about the challenges they\u2019re facing, and how you might help them do their work better and hit the necessary goals. Also, think about what the ideal performance looks like to you. Then temper your expectations with the fact that we are living through a global pandemic and everyone is facing entirely new challenges. Those goals may no longer be possible. This is an opportunity not only to share feedback with your employee but also to listen as well, and then reevaluate goals and the business from there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Productive feedback is a two-way street. It should include what you would like to say as well as what you can do to help the person you\u2019re talking to<\/a> achieve what you\u2014and hopefully they\u2014ultimately want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Schedule a good time for a video chat<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Do not <\/em>just spring this conversation on someone. Figure out a time in which you can be calm and collected and not distracted by other duties. Definitely don\u2019t give feedback as part of a group chat. Make sure it\u2019s just the two of you<\/a>, and that what you want to discuss doesn\u2019t come as a surprise\u2014clearly lay out the purpose for the conversation ahead of time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the case of question one, you can ask your manager to have a conversation with you about your desire for more regular feedback at this time. (Given the changes everyone is going through because of the coronavirus, it\u2019s utterly reasonable to have some new needs regarding putting your best business self forward!) In question two, you might approach it as, \u201cLet\u2019s set up a call to talk about how you\u2019re feeling about your workload and goals.\u201d When you’re on the call, reiterate your expectations of what\u2019s necessary and then ask them how things are going before discussing why the goals aren\u2019t being met and whether adjustments need to be made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Be supportive, but also be clear<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

People talk about \u201ccompliment sandwiches<\/a>,\u201d but be careful about pouring on so much positivity that you hide your true intentions and the person you\u2019re talking to comes away uncertain about what you want, or worse, thinking that everything\u2019s great. At the same time, don\u2019t shame them or criticize them\u2014especially<\/em> not in front of a group. (Again, don\u2019t try to share feedback over video chat with more than one person at the same time unless you\u2019re specifically working with a team in which members need to hear team-focused feedback at once. In that case, all feedback should be group-based.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Experts recommend using \u201cI\u201d instead of \u201cyou\u201d statements so that what you say feels less like a personal attack of the person you\u2019re giving feedback to. (For instance, \u201cI see you\u2019re not hitting the goals we set out, can we talk about that?\u201d as opposed to \u201cYou are doing it wrong\/failing\/a failure,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m feeling very isolated and it would help to schedule some regular check-ins\u201d as opposed to \u201cYou never explain anything to me and it\u2019s making my work suffer.\u201d) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, it may help to consider feedback holistically. It\u2019s not what your manager or employee is doing wrong. It\u2019s about what you need to do to help them do better\u2014so that both of you can succeed as much as possible. Be as specific as you can, referring to exactly what you\u2019ve seen and providing suggestions (refer back to what you wrote down in point #1) for improvement. Cast improvement in terms of \u201cthis will help me\/help you\/help the company\u201d as opposed to \u201cyou need to do this better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Offer a space for listening<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Feedback isn\u2019t just about you doing the talking\u2014it means letting the other person talk too. Have a seat, make eye contact\u2014don\u2019t get distracted by an email, your partner, or your phone\u2014and listen. They may have something going on in their life that you hadn\u2019t realized, or perhaps they\u2019ve noticed the issue and have suggestions of their own. Take turns talking, avoid interrupting each other, and listen carefully, so hopefully this conversation can lead to a stronger working relationship overall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Have an agenda and refer to it! <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t want these conversations to go too long (try scheduling them for smaller segments of time, like 15 minutes or maybe 30, and try not to go over), nor do you want to muddy them with too many side conversations. Be timely\u2014you don\u2019t want to appear as suddenly coming out of the blue to address an issue from a year ago. (Don\u2019t, however, attempt to give feedback right after a perceived issue occurs. Always take some time to step back and figure out what you want to say first.) You also don\u2019t want to keep having the same feedback conversation over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Schedule a follow-up (or regular follow-ups)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before you hang up, make a date at a reasonable time after your initial call to chat again and see how things are going. You may want to implement regular feedback sessions, which in the case of both questions sounds like a good idea, especially now! Feedback, after all, isn\u2019t just one and done. What you\u2019re doing is setting up the foundation for conversations down the line that continue to help you build your relationship (and your business) for the future. Good luck!<\/p>\n\n\n