{"id":19315,"date":"2016-02-04T16:51:16","date_gmt":"2016-02-04T21:51:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/creator\/?p=19315"},"modified":"2020-03-30T19:26:56","modified_gmt":"2020-03-30T23:26:56","slug":"ditch-the-old-dreams-that-are-holding-you-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/ditch-the-old-dreams-that-are-holding-you-back","title":{"rendered":"Ditch the old dreams that are holding you back"},"content":{"rendered":"

You finally finished your novel, and all the literary agents who read it said it\u2019s a \u201cstrong start.\u201d But another year of wordsmithing doesn\u2019t interest you. Or perhaps you wanted to learn to code, but realized it wasn\u2019t at all a match for your core competencies.<\/p>\n

All that\u2019s fine<\/em>. But did you take a moment to fully acknowledge and digest why you decided not to do the thing you didn\u2019t do? Properly letting go of goals is a much more critical step in the self-growth process than we realize.<\/p>\n

In her book,\u00a0The Fire Starter Sessions<\/em><\/a>, self-improvement guru Danielle LaPorte<\/a> coined the term \u201cdream\u00a0fatigue\u201d to describe when you are no longer pursuing a goal or project, but the path not taken continues to be a distraction. LaPorte writes that you need to fully release these goals (and acknowledge any sense of disappointment or regret) to clear your mental clutter and go after your new, more meaningful goals.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the great skills to have is the ability to let go of old dreams to make space for the new dreams,\u201d says Gemma Stone<\/a>, a psychologist in Alberta, Canada. \u201cThe feeling of dream fatigue is often that you\u2019re on a path, but you stop and look back. In your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you are moving in one direction, but part of you feels pulled in another. It can feel like you\u2019re not gaining traction on your current path, or that you\u2019re spinning your wheels. The first system is to realize that you\u2019re being pulled.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gretchen Hydo<\/a>, a Los Angeles-based life coach, says that our ambitions can generally be grouped into three buckets: dreams and passions, good ideas and goals, and hobbies and interests.<\/p>\n

\u201cDreams and passions keep us up at night,\u201d says Hydo. \u201cGood ideas and goals can be described as \u2018I could do that\u2019 or \u2018I could make money doing that,\u2019 but are easy to walk away from. Hobbies and interests, you could pick up any time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hydo says this question helps people sort their old goals and articulate what\u2019s currently most meaningful: \u201cIs it your dream or passion, or is it something you \u2018could\u2019 do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Crystal Marsh<\/a> was a lawyer who decided to become a coach after she counseled a client against filing for divorce. Today, she helps clients get clear on what they really want in their careers.<\/p>\n

One exercise that Marsh likes to use is to ask clients to imagine attending a celebratory dinner.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are the subject of celebration,\u201d she tells them. \u201cAll the people you love and who have supported you will be there. There will be lots of champagne, and the food will be amazing. So, what are you celebrating?\u201d<\/p>\n

Marsh says that some people find this exercise scary and will only continue for a minute or two. Yet other people can go on and on\u2014and it tends to bring clarity, fast.<\/p>\n

Once you\u2019ve found your focus, Stone says you need to prevent all the distractions and second-guessing.<\/p>\n

She says, \u201cAsk yourself, \u2018If this is the path I\u2019m devoted to, what are the beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that I\u2019m going to need on this path? What do I want now that I didn\u2019t want before? What did I want then that I don\u2019t want now?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Stone says it\u2019s crucial to learn to say \u201cno,\u201d especially to yourself.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour \u2018no\u2019 creates space for your \u2018yes,\u2019\u201d she says. \u201cMaybe there are 10 dreams in front of you. If you say no to nine, there is space for that one to come alive and be successful. Take it all the way to where you want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stone\u2019s advice calls to mind a popular Steve Jobs quote<\/a>: \u201cPeople think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are.\u201d<\/p>\n

When it comes to challenges frequently faced by entrepreneurs, it\u2019s comforting when \u201cthere\u2019s a Steve Jobs quote for that.\u201d Letting go of some old goals could propel you to create the iPhone of your career, whatever that may look like for you.<\/p>\n

Photo: Lauren Kallen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You finally finished your novel, and all the literary agents who read it said it\u2019s a \u201cstrong start.\u201d But another year of wordsmithing doesn\u2019t interest you. Or perhaps you wanted to learn to code, but realized it wasn\u2019t at all a match for your core competencies. All that\u2019s fine. But did you take a moment […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1772,"featured_media":19316,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDitch the old dreams that are holding you back<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Letting go of outdated goals is a much more critical step in the self-growth process than we realize.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/ditch-the-old-dreams-that-are-holding-you-back\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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