{"id":16731,"date":"2015-09-23T22:00:12","date_gmt":"2015-09-24T02:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/creator\/?p=16731"},"modified":"2020-03-30T18:27:58","modified_gmt":"2020-03-30T22:27:58","slug":"say-it-like-you-mean-it-breaking-the-uptalk-habit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/ideas\/professional-development\/say-it-like-you-mean-it-breaking-the-uptalk-habit","title":{"rendered":"Say it like you mean it: Breaking the \u2018uptalk\u2019 habit"},"content":{"rendered":"

What Is Uptalking<\/h1>\n

I have a confession to make: I\u2019m an \u201cuptalker.\u201d (And I\u2019m not the only one out there.) Uptalk, or \u201cupward inflection,\u201d is the speech habit of ending sentences like questions: the pitch of your voice trails up at the end.<\/p>\n

Examples Of Uptalking<\/h2>\n

\u201cThe Millennial generation is known for uptalking, and there is a lot of debate as to when this uptalk habit began,\u201d says Dr. Susan Miller<\/a>, a sought-after vocal trainer and an assistant professor of Otolaryngology at the Georgetown University Hospital. \u201cDid it begin in the \u201860s in Australia or did it begin in the \u201890s in California with the \u2018Valley Girl\u2019 speech pattern?\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re picturing Clueless<\/em>, you\u2019re correct. But men uptalk, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cPartly this is how we’ve learned to talk. We learn from older \u2018uptalkers\u2019\u2014brothers and sisters and friends,\u201d says Kim Dower, also known as \u201cKim from LA,\u201d<\/a> a Los Angeles-based media trainer who has coached many authors, celebrities, and business leaders, including Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz.<\/p>\n

According to Dower, \u201cUptalking implies a lack of certainty in what we’re saying\u2014more like floating a suggestion than stating a fact\u2014somewhere in between a question and a statement. It conveys a lack of authority, knowledge, depth, and experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

So for young professionals, entrepreneurs, and anyone<\/em> else interested in communicating their expertise around their work, uptalk creates an obstacle to being taken seriously.<\/p>\n

Miller says, \u201cWomen are referred to me by their employers, and the employers will say, \u2018She\u2019s great, but she sounds young.\u2019 With guys who uptalk, people say, \u2018He sounds uncertain. He\u2019s not very confident.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

When we speak with certainty, we\u2019re perceived as being knowledgeable and competent\u2014whether we\u2019re talking about our most recent work project or our opinion of the latest iPhone update. We can use our voice and intonation as a tool to influence people and situations.<\/p>\n

Ready to begin that intonation makeover? Let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n

Record yourself talking<\/strong><\/p>\n

According to Dower, the best strategy is to record yourself and listen to how it sounds.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe moment you hear it, you know why it doesn’t work,\u201d says Dower. \u201cSay the sentence: \u2018It’s time for us to get started on this project.\u2019 Then say it in \u2018uptalk.\u2019 Then say it \u2018normally.\u2019 Hear the difference. As with everything we do, the first step in changing a habit is to watch ourselves doing it. When we hear it, we’ll be motivated to change.\u201d<\/p>\n

Note: it\u2019s okay\u2014normal, even\u2014if you cringe at the way your voice sounds recorded.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one likes the way their voice sounds,\u201d says Miller. \u201cIt\u2019s because as we\u2019re talking, we hear ourselves through the bones in our head. So everybody thinks their voice is lower. That\u2019s why you sound different on a voicemail.\u201d<\/p>\n

Miller has her clients write down five statements and practice saying them with delicate conviction.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to end the sentence as a fact. For example, \u2018My name is Susan.\u2019 I am very certain about what I\u2019m saying. So if I am certain of what I\u2019m saying, I\u2019m going to remember to give air through that last word. I need to make sure that last word is heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

It may sound or feel a little bold at first, but hey\u2014be<\/em> bold.<\/p>\n

Record a phone conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n

With permission from a friend, significant other, or family member, record a phone conversation (there are several good apps\u2014I like TapeACall Pro<\/a>). Start an involved conversation. Then listen to the recording.<\/p>\n

Miller says, \u201cThat\u2019s another way to catch yourself doing it: when you\u2019re thinking more about what you\u2019re saying to someone than you are of how you sound.\u201d<\/p>\n

Erin Matson<\/a>, a Washington, D.C.-based writer and the co-founder of Reproaction<\/a>, a buzzy non-profit that advocates for women\u2019s reproductive rights, says standing during phone conversations is always a good idea.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne thing that really helps for important phone conversations is to stand up,\u201d says Matson. \u201cYou automatically sound more confident\u2014and start to learn how to transfer that to your sitting voice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Break old habits
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Consider if you use upward inflection as a strategy to temper a big ask or a strong viewpoint. Dower reveals, \u201cWe do it when we’re not sure whether the person is going to accept what we’re saying\u2014it sounds like a suggestion, when in fact it’s a statement.\u201d<\/p>\n

Miller has had patients suggest that they started uptalking in high school, as an unintended byproduct of doing so many group projects. \u201cI\u2019ve asked clients, \u2018Why do you think you uptalk?\u2019 And some people say, \u2018Maybe it\u2019s because in high school, we did all team activities. We didn\u2019t want to act like we knew the absolute answer.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Matson says, \u201cThere’s a whole body of linguistics that tracks how women in the United States tend to use communication styles that seek consensus. Uptalk is an extension of that, especially among younger adults.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you want to be heard, speak<\/em>. If you need to disagree, disagree<\/em>. No matter what point you\u2019re making, you\u2019ll invite a more favorable outcome if you sound eloquent and polished when you speak.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget to breathe
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come to understand your voice as both an instrument and a business tool.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can have a voice we like,\u201d says Miller. \u201cIt\u2019s an instrument, and we can all learn to play it.\u201d<\/p>\n

As in music, speaking well is inseparable from the practice of taking good breaths.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we speak, breath has to come from below, from your lower ribcage,\u201d says Miller. \u201cWhen someone wants to project their voice, if they take a sucky breath instead of a relaxed, lower breath, then their throat tightens, so that sound\u2014their voice\u2014is resonating through a piccolo instead of a clarinet or saxophone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Voice is an area where we have great influence over how others perceive us. We have the power to maximize this flexible, adaptable medium through which we communicate: to influence, to share our thoughts, and to own our expertise.<\/p>\n

Photo credit: Lauren Kallen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What Is Uptalking I have a confession to make: I\u2019m an \u201cuptalker.\u201d (And I\u2019m not the only one out there.) Uptalk, or \u201cupward inflection,\u201d is the speech habit of ending sentences like questions: the pitch of your voice trails up at the end. Examples Of Uptalking \u201cThe Millennial generation is known for uptalking, and there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1772,"featured_media":3000007827,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43902],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-professional-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Is Uptalking | Ideas by We<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So for young professionals, entrepreneurs, and anyone else interested in communicating their expertise around their work, uptalk creates an obstacle to being taken seriously.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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