{"id":314,"date":"2019-10-30T12:32:16","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T16:32:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/en-GB\/ideas\/?p=314&preview=true&preview_id=314"},"modified":"2020-09-03T09:55:03","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T09:55:03","slug":"meeting-connecting-workplace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wework.com\/en-GB\/ideas\/professional-development\/creativity-culture\/meeting-connecting-workplace","title":{"rendered":"The difference between meeting and connecting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Say what you will about Marie Kondo and the decluttering movement, but she brought to light a profound, dare I say, \u2018life-changing\u2019 insight that caught the world\u2019s attention: the difference between tidying and cleaning. The lesson to be learned was that while many people were taught to clean<\/em>, they weren\u2019t necessarily taught how to tidy<\/em>. They were practicing one behaviour, but wanting the outcome of another. Kondo taught us that cleaning is an act of hygiene, and tidying is an act of organisation and categorisation \u2013 applicable to an entire home, with a ripple effect on a person\u2019s entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s so easy to overlook terms that we think<\/em> we understand, just by virtue of being human. To that end, there\u2019s another set of words we need to clearly differentiate: meeting<\/em> and connecting<\/em>.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We tend to use meeting and connecting interchangeably, especially in the workplace. But they\u2019re two different types of interaction. Looking at these concepts with such a critical eye might seem excessive, but misunderstanding this difference is at the heart of why so many \u2018team-building\u2019 and networking<\/a> events fall short. While employers are out there trying to establish connections among their employees<\/a>, they\u2019re often simply setting up conditions for \u2018meeting\u2019. Once we understand the difference between meeting and connecting, we can begin to program workplace events<\/a> (and the purpose behind them) differently, resulting in greater success.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

What is meeting?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Meeting is often characterised by initial introductions. I know this well from my seven years working in the online dating industry. When meeting, people are more likely to exchange information about themselves, rather than stories. You\u2019ve likely talked to someone who is single and dating, and the most common gripe you\u2019ll hear is how exhausting the dating process is. Clearly, part of that is caused by the process itself \u2013 it\u2019s a logistics dice roll of matching, chatting and coordinating an in-person date. But if you listen more closely, you might find that the most exhausting aspect of this process is the repeated exchange of information that the dater is having.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Simply exchanging information doesn\u2019t provide meaningful insight about a person. And without that meaningful insight, in such a setting as dating, it\u2019s so easy to dismiss someone. One comment, a bad hair day or not splitting the bill in a way you think is appropriate can mean \u2018see you never\u2019 after date one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the workplace, we\u2019re susceptible to making these same snap judgments about our colleagues because we never get to know them on a deeper level. The best example of how we\u2019re simply meeting \u2013 but not connecting \u2013 in the workplace might be the over-reliance on happy hours as a social event. It\u2019s not that certain people can\u2019t or won\u2019t ever<\/em> connect at a happy hour. But these conditions are better suited for a brief introduction to many, rather than a stronger connection with a few \u2013 which is what builds a more meaningful employee experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is connecting?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Connecting<\/a> is a more substantive glimpse into someone. It has an energising quality to it, and it tends to occur when you hear about a person\u2019s journey. Connecting is about getting beyond the headlines and pleasantries \u2013 without having to divulge all of your vulnerabilities or highly personal moments. Connecting could be as simple as discussing an episode of Game of Thrones<\/em> or describing the amazing extra cheese pizza you had late last night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about the moments when someone told you a story and you visualised it as they spoke. You start to imagine that person in a different context and, as a result, you\u2019re able to draw a more holistic picture of them in your mind. It doesn\u2019t mean you have to like the person or become friends with them \u2013 but through this type of interaction, you\u2019re able to paint a fuller picture of who they really are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to create connection in the workplace<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This is the point at which employers want to read a list of \u2018tips and tricks\u2019 to help their employees connect, leading to a more fulfilling work environment. Here\u2019s the thing: Don\u2019t think in terms of tips and tricks \u2013 that means you\u2019re thinking tactically (addressing something now) and not strategically (considering the overall objective). Instead, think holistically about creating scenarios where people can move beyond a person\u2019s basic info or headlines, and into a space<\/a> where true connection can occur.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, let\u2019s start with the cornerstone of so many work gatherings: food. It\u2019s easy to think that just having free food available draws people together. Well, in theory, it does \u2013 but we\u2019re going for meaningful<\/em>, not simply logistical. When we order food for a team gathering, we think in terms of dietary restrictions, allergies and possibly group preferences. But what if we thought about food as a way to really learn more about our employees? At WeWork<\/a>, I launched a simple but connective concept called \u2018Feast of Favourites\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how it worked: Prior to a team meal<\/a>, I emailed a short, fun survey to our team of 15 people, making sure to include five people who had just joined the team to ensure a variety of employee experiences. I posed questions such as: \u2018What food do you immediately look for on a bar menu?\u2019 and \u2018What\u2019s a food that makes you smile?\u2019; \u2018That you will never turn down?\u2019; \u2018That renders you powerless?\u2019; \u2018That represents your culture or home life?\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, after I provided these food items based on the survey answers, we gathered with all of the food labelled, indicating which item was connected to which team member. In this process, we were sharing more than just food based on dietary restrictions. We were sharing smile triggers, wishes, cravings and preferences \u2013 both lowbrow and highbrow. Suddenly, the food wasn\u2019t just a menu item; it was a way to learn more about one another. Our software engineer, who is Pakistani, had a chance to talk about Bengali fish curry. Our designer lit up when lemon bars appeared. Our team leader got to sing the praises of truffle mac and cheese.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The difference between meeting and connecting<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We could<\/em> have just eaten together. Instead, we got to go one level deeper as we learned about our colleagues. The event was so full of lively conversation that no one had to reach for their emergency small talk or recite a list of facts about themselves. It didn\u2019t require revealing anything too<\/em> personal, and it didn\u2019t put anyone on the spot.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Creating more authentic connections in the workplace can be this easy. If meeting<\/em> is just about getting to know someone\u2019s name and job title, connecting<\/em> can be as simple as learning that your colleague believes lemon bars are the perfect union of tart and texture.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connection is about getting beyond the basics. Don\u2019t save it for an off-site event. Don\u2019t feel like the discussion has to be deeply personal or painful (you don\u2019t have to dig deeply into someone\u2019s struggles). It\u2019s not about making it personal. It\u2019s about making room for a person\u2019s personality.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n
<\/div>\n\n<\/div>\n<\/div> \n